Dating was hard before we had computers in our pockets. Now, thanks to smart phones, it's easier than ever to be distracted when meeting someone new, putting our focus on social media rather than the living, breathing human in front of us.
Dating app Hinge is here to help us with its new Distraction Free Dating Guide. Created by Hinge's director of relationship science Logan Ury and Hinge's love and connection expert, Moe Ari Brown, the Distraction Free Dating Guide aims to foster meaningful connections — with each other, not screens. The guide features advice and 20 date ideas that'll get you off your phone.
"When you put your phone away, it's easier to focus on the other person and create those memorable first-date conversations that propel you into a relationship," Ury said.
If you're on your phone instead of trying to connect on a date, you risk tanking it. "MIT professor Sherry Turkle found that when your phone is out, the quality of the conversations goes down," Ury continued. "People naturally tend to discuss more shallow topics because there's a fear that, at any moment, the phone will interrupt them."
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Hinge research coincides with this. Seventy-five perfect of Hinge daters are more hesitant to open up to their date if that person is on their phone during the meetup — and 78 percent assume their match isn't interested if they're on their phone during the date.
Here are Hinge's top six do's and don'ts for phone etiquette during dates:
Put your phone on silent and keep it out of sight.
If you have to use your phone to look at a restaurant’s QR code menu or respond to an urgent message from your roommate, do it quickly and then put your phone away again.
If you have plans for after the date, make the arrangements in advance, including what time and where you’ll meet, so you’re not multitasking during the date.
Try not to get into any intense conversations or read work emails right before the date, since this can distract you and make you feel like you need to get back to someone.
Don't pull your phone out during the date to show someone a meme. Instead, use this as a way to connect with them later.
Leave wearable tech, such as your Apple Watch, at home or turn off your notifications so you won’t be tempted to glance at it. That's a screen too!
Ury knows it can be tempting to check your phone if your date has reached and awkward moment — or if you're experiencing FOMO. "But if you want your first date to turn into a second one, my advice is to keep your phone out of sight," she said. The data supports this: At Hinge, 80 percent of people believe "phone away" dates lead to better connections, Ury cited.
If your date is constantly on their phone, Ury suggests playfully calling it out and inviting them to be distraction-free. A script she offered is: "I've been trying phone-free dates lately, and it's actually been a nice break for my brain. Want to see how long we can go without checking ours? The first person to break buys the next round."
Check out more tips from Hinge's Distraction Free Dating Guide.
